I was watching one of my favourite documentary series, Through the Wormhole. The episode, “Is There an Edge to the Universe,” had nothing to do with sociology. Hence, I was completely distracted and utterly flummoxed by the following quote from a Canadian physicist. “It’s been said that if you put up a sign in an airport saying, ‘free sex to the right, and free information about sex to the left,’ Canadians will go to the left. I hope I’m not quite that boring.”
I’ve never heard this aphorism myself, but there it was on TV, so it must be well-known, or if it wasn’t before, it’s out in the world now. My mind was unable to focus on physics after that, because it was too busy tearing this assertion to ribbons. Though cosmically insignificant, it’s still roiling around in my mind. I need to decimate his sociological argument publicly before I try to understand his theories on the shape of the universe.
- I offer an aphorism of my own. Give someone no-strings sex and they’ll have transient pleasure for 15 minutes to half an hour; teach someone to have safe and inventive sex, and they’ll have ecstasy for a lifetime. One person’s boredom is another person’s strategic thinking.
- Free sex … as opposed to sex you pay for? I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if you routinely contextualize sex in monetary terms, your life may not be cruising down an ideal track. My counter-assertion is that Canadians just get laid more often, and better.
- Most women I know say they’re not interested in sex with strangers, free or not, so his aphorism may be speaking to only about half the population, Canadian or otherwise.
- When I’m in an airport, sex is the last thing on my mind. I feel about as provocative as a bingo game, as approachable as the Grinch on Christmas Eve. I would mutter a peevish “no thanks” to Adonis or Helen of Troy.
- I just don’t believe that thinking before you act, and choosing not to be ruled by instinct makes you boring; I think it’s hot.
Stereotypes range from harmful to silly. Like many, the one that says Canadians are boring is reductionistic and untrue. If boring means we’d rather negotiate than kill each other, place good manners over aggression, or learn rather than be governed by reflex, then give me boring every time. I was so distracted by the physicist’s bizarre statement that I can’t even remember what his ground-breaking cosmological assertion was. Now that I’ve got this rebuttal off my chest however, I can go back to the debate about whether the universe is truly infinite, with a clear mind.